Sometimes you can feel a lot of pressure to send nude or semi-nude pictures of yourself to someone. They might ask you nicely, or they might harass you. Either way it can be confusing or scary when you don’t know what to do – especially if they are persistent and persuasive.
You might really care about them and trust them. You might see it as doing something nice to please them. Or you might want to seem interesting or brave. But the truth is, asking you to do something like that – even if you are dating – puts you in a very uncomfortable and unfair position. It is wrong of them to ask and put that pressure on you.
They probably see it as a fun and normal thing to ask a girl to do. But if they like you and care about you, they should realise that it is an unfair request, and accept that you are not going to send them the pictures. If it is a stranger harassing you for the pictures, you must either refuse to reply to them, tell your parents, or respond clearly “NO”.
“No” is the best and simplest way to respond and you should remind them that it is inappropriate to ask. Unfortunately, something that blunt can feel hard to say to someone you like, especially when you feel pressured. So there are other ways to respond. Like using a simple word or sentence:
“No. Don’t make things weird.”
“Ha ha. You’re not that basic are you?”
“I won’t send you nudes. But I can forward this to my dad see if he’ll send you some.”
Or sending a funny picture followed by a statement confirming that you will not be sending a nude picture. For example:
You could send a picture of a Sphynx Cat followed by saying “this is the only nude you will get”.
Send a gif of an iPhone loading symbol followed by: “You’ll be waiting a very LONG time for that to upload! In the mean time think of a better question.”
Send a picture saying “Request Denied” followed by: “Your application was unsuitable. Please do not reapply”.
The real problem is that sexual culture presumes that boys are likely to ask and pressure girls for sexy or nude photographs, and it is the girls job to either defend themselves or give in. These guys probably know they are crossing the line by asking for sexy or nude pictures. So the best response is to point out that they were wrong to ask in the first place. Social sexual dynamics have placed boys in the position of power. It’s time to balance things out and take power for ourselves!
- A resent study into teenage girls’ reports of sexual photo solicitation – New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/02/well/family/teenagers-stop-asking-for-nude-photos.html
- How to respond when a guy asks for nudes – Galore Magazine: https://galoremag.com/respond-guy-asks-nude/
- 16 Utterly Brilliant Responses to a ‘Send Nudes’ Text – Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/utterly-brilliant-responses-to-a-send-nudes-text_us_593069f4e4b010df62cc6a12